Being laid off for a year isn't the picnic that anyone would imagine. While there are people in my life who wouldnt mind the monotony, I can't seem to enjoy it. It was late November of last year when it happened.. I remember, like I'm sure many do, feeling that it was the wrong choice for the company. I felt like the kid who doesn't get picked to play when the other kids are choosing teams. To this day I feel that it was a choice based on everything except productivity.. but I won't get into it, thats another blog.
Anyway, at first I was sad.. like I was cast aside for not violating my ethics. But, I chose to take the begining of it like it was a vacation.. I had, after all, been working for almost ten years (with only one vacation). So yes, in the begining I enjoyed being able to do things that I was never able to do because I was working. But, even that gets old when you have no one to share your free time with.
Then the search began, for a new job, application after application.. interview after interview.. I have never been told 'NO' so many times in one year. It never feels better by the way.
Thats when you start beating yourself up. How can it be that you, of all the people in your circle, can't seem to get your hands on a job? What are you doing that makes it so difficult?? More importantly.. why are you so undesirable to society? It doesnt help that everyone around you is always asking you when you're going to get a job. (Ugh... when someone hires me maybe?) It's true.. I went through a mild depression as Im sure everyone who is in this position goes through. I just felt like I couldn't catch a break ( I still do, but I've accepted it) when everyone else does. (My friend obliviously torchuring me by quitting not one.. but two jobs.. though she did have a family hook-up with her current place of employment)
After months of beating myself up a wave of peace washed over me. I know it sounds stupid but after being broke, bored, and unhappy for so long you just start to see the whole world differently. I began cherishing to deeply the smallest gestures.. like, if I happened to see a brother hold his little sisters hand so she wont get lost I would literally tear up. I began to appreciate the things that no amount of money in the world could purchase. I also began to notice how materialistic everyone around me really was.. everything changes when you realize you dont need things as much as you think you do.
Anyway, as of now I have accepted my life. Luckilly I'm not starving, I'm not unhealthy, and I am surviving. I'll get a job soon enough but I'm glad that I had this happen to me.. It made me realize that constantly trying to prove yourself to society and to others is a complete waste of time.. the only person you have to be happy with is yourself. *Cheers*
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2 comments:
It has only taken you a year, what most people never get. Be happy in whatever you decide to do or not to do. You only live once. The people who love you will always be there for you in good and bad times, no matter how long the time is.
And as far as materials, I would never give up one milli second with any one of my children or family for any amount of money in the world.
Please remember that material things can always be replaced.
I'm from Brazil where nobody is 100% safe in their jobs. If they lay someone off one day the next day there will be hundreds of people at the gate willing to replace the unfortunate worker. I can relate to that predicament. I myself have been through quite a hard time to come up with another job after since I was given the pink slip by this company I worked for 6 years. It does humble us more having to depend on family members and other people. We start seeing the world with other eyes and grow out of behaviors that are just good for having us taking things for granted all the time.
Thank you.
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