Deck The Halls

Well, we're more then half way done with the end of the year festivities, all thats left is New Years Eve. I can't say that the celebrations have been extraordinary this year. Truth be told, I expected more.. at least for Christmas Eve but we ended up at a dinner that was the opposite of festive. I was hoping to get some 'Holiday Cheer' from the next place we went to.. but we waited so long to leave the first place that no one was there/awake by the time we had arrived at the second location. Lame. Thats the problem with still being dependant on your parents.. I may be 25 years old but since I lost my job and am now depending on them again I have to do whatever they do for these kinds of occasions. If I were on my own I could do whatever I feel like it and I wouldnt have to endure moaning and groaning about it for weeks on end. But, c'est la vive. Anyway, I'm lookin forward to Wednesday (a.k.a. New Years Eve) like you wouldnt believe. I dont know in exactly what order I'm going to attend the parties yet but I have a feeling that its going to be a crazy night for all involved. Here's to 2009!!!! *cheers*

Station Wagons Are Sexy

I don't know what it is about these fine pieces of machinery (maybe the idea of what all that extra space can facilitate) but I've always been a fan of the station wagon. Not the new kind, with all the rounded corners, no sir.. it has to be the straight up old version. Just look at it... so sexy. *cheers*

Momma's Boy

Ever since I can remember, I've been completely and utterly turned off by anyone who was dependant on other people for simple, common sense things, that anyone with a single brain cell can do. More specifically its always been a real turn-off to see a man who's been raised with their mommy doing every little thing for them and doesn't even know how to do something as simple as turn on a burner on a stove. I once actually had a friend who didn't know where the kitchen garbage bin was because after eating his meals (prepared for by mommy) he wouldn't even have the common courtesy of picking up his plate and putting it into the sink.

This morning, I went from being in a great mood to getting all pissy in about two minutes. Today, unlike yesterday when I was hung over like you wouldn't believe, I woke up and was ready to grab the day by the balls..as I made my bed I was planning all the things I was going to do: Wrap some Christmas gifts that I'd bought, clean up the kitchen floor, etc. When I got to the kitchen my brother was already awake and watching television with my dad, my mom was at her computer downloading the millionth song this weekend on LimeWire. And I decided to brew up some much desired espresso for myself..

As I was making the froth, I overheard my mother talking about how my brother's (21) uniform is in the dryer. (Grrrrrrrrrr!) I realize that this doesn't really affect my life in any immediate way but I hate that my brother has become one of those guys that I make fun of all the time and can't possibly respect. I would question why he doesn't want to take things upon himself but.. he has it so easy why would he complain. Anyway, the only thing that makes me feel less angry about this is that he had to go in to work today while everyone is here at home.. hehe. *cheers*

Three Six Five

Being laid off for a year isn't the picnic that anyone would imagine. While there are people in my life who wouldnt mind the monotony, I can't seem to enjoy it. It was late November of last year when it happened.. I remember, like I'm sure many do, feeling that it was the wrong choice for the company. I felt like the kid who doesn't get picked to play when the other kids are choosing teams. To this day I feel that it was a choice based on everything except productivity.. but I won't get into it, thats another blog.

Anyway, at first I was sad.. like I was cast aside for not violating my ethics. But, I chose to take the begining of it like it was a vacation.. I had, after all, been working for almost ten years (with only one vacation). So yes, in the begining I enjoyed being able to do things that I was never able to do because I was working. But, even that gets old when you have no one to share your free time with.

Then the search began, for a new job, application after application.. interview after interview.. I have never been told 'NO' so many times in one year. It never feels better by the way.

Thats when you start beating yourself up. How can it be that you, of all the people in your circle, can't seem to get your hands on a job? What are you doing that makes it so difficult?? More importantly.. why are you so undesirable to society? It doesnt help that everyone around you is always asking you when you're going to get a job. (Ugh... when someone hires me maybe?) It's true.. I went through a mild depression as Im sure everyone who is in this position goes through. I just felt like I couldn't catch a break ( I still do, but I've accepted it) when everyone else does. (My friend obliviously torchuring me by quitting not one.. but two jobs.. though she did have a family hook-up with her current place of employment)

After months of beating myself up a wave of peace washed over me. I know it sounds stupid but after being broke, bored, and unhappy for so long you just start to see the whole world differently. I began cherishing to deeply the smallest gestures.. like, if I happened to see a brother hold his little sisters hand so she wont get lost I would literally tear up. I began to appreciate the things that no amount of money in the world could purchase. I also began to notice how materialistic everyone around me really was.. everything changes when you realize you dont need things as much as you think you do.

Anyway, as of now I have accepted my life. Luckilly I'm not starving, I'm not unhealthy, and I am surviving. I'll get a job soon enough but I'm glad that I had this happen to me.. It made me realize that constantly trying to prove yourself to society and to others is a complete waste of time.. the only person you have to be happy with is yourself. *Cheers*

Just As You Are

I was never really a fan of the Bridget Jones movies.Truthfully, the only parts that I found entertaining were the fight scenes. I watched them both though, not in theatres but I did see them at home.. I love Colin Firth. Anyway.. in the wee hours of last night/this morning I watched the first movie and suddenly I understood her. The first time I watched the movie I didnt really get her.. I just thought she was some strange middle aged woman who couldnt dress and always embarassed herself. But, last night I really got it... and more then that I understood what Marc Darcy (C.F.) represented.. he was the guy every girl dreams of having but overlooks because he is so safe. This scene in particular moved me because its every persons fantasy that they can find someone who doesnt want to change one single thing about them. "Just as you are" *cheers*