Boys Dont Cry

I realize that I'm about 12 years late but I watched this movie for the first time last night. I went to bed feeling horrible. Its not very often that a movie leaves me with residual feelings for longer then about 10 minutes later but even at 2 a.m. this morning I still had trouble falling asleep.
How could there be people with such darkness inside in the world? I watched the documentary after finishing the film I could see the real people (minus Brandon). And the killers were even more terrifying in person then their actor selves in the movie.

That poor girl. Raped, then killed. Even the thought of being raped deeply effects me but listening to her recount the horroible event truly left a gaping feeling in the pit of my gut. It was just so sad.

Then the way she died was just barbaric.

I remember feeling angry when watching the documentary that the police didnt lock up the two men after Brandon identified them clearly in her questioning. I'd like to think that if they had to do it all over again they'd take a different plan of action.

Its just a sad story all around and I cant believe that someone would have to be subject to the cruel treatments simply because they are being themselves.

I also remember the social worker who was vaguely justifying the actions of one of the killers.. she said that he is a product of how society has failed him. I disagree. There are probably millions of people who grow up in horrible conditions. And none of them have even a thought of violently raping someone, let alone killing another person. But thats just my opinion.

I knoow its been over a decade since this movie came out and I hope this horrible story brought some awareness.

What Hillary Swank said in her accceptance speech at the academy awards was spot on: We need to learn to accept our differences.

Spooked

I just freaked myself out while brushing my teeth after my evening shower. Dont you hate it when you watch a scary movie and then you end up in the shower half an hour later all by yourself feeling like someone is watching you and imagining that the moment you open up the shower curtain to step out of the tub a murderer will be standing there waiting for you?? Well.. I've been told I'm extremely imaginitive. Maybe its true.

So I step out of the shower and dry up a bit before I open up the door to let some of the steam out while I brush my teeth. I hate that I can't see myself in the miror and I dont really like to wipe it clear (I dont know why). Besides, most of the time the mirror is clear enough for me to see my face in by the time I'm done brushing my teeth. Anyway, I fling the door open and start brushing when I look up for a moment. Then the lights go out! My heart stopped. Toothbrush still in mouth, I turned to bolt into the livingroom where my fiance was watching a football game with his best friend when I remembered a sound I heard just as the lights went out. A sound that is very relevent to this horrible turn of events. Yes, I know this sound very well. A click. The click all of us know means that either the lights are on, or they are off. Apparently I flipped the light switch with my elbow while I was brushing. This has happened to me before, maybe three or four times, each time I am met with the same soul freezing fear that something horrible is about to happen. And, after I turn the light back on I always get so mad at whoever would think to put a light switch where anyones elbow could easily accidentlly flip it on or off. Pfft.

So that is the story of how a silly twenty-soimething freaks herself out in the bathroom and lives to tell about it.

2011

This year one of my resolutions was to write more. So what better place to exercise that goal then to reconnect with my old blog? I started reading older posts.. even all the way back to the beginning to get an idea as to what I used to find interesting enough to post about.

Reading back, my life is so different now. I'll give you a brief update:
1.) I am no longer (Thankfully) unemployed. I am actually working in a field I hope to dominate in the future
2.) I am no longer single, I'm engaged and due to marry in June of this year
3.) I have lost contact with most of the people I used to include in my older posts
4.) I am on my own, I left my parents house and live with my fiance now

I think that covers the important stuff. I hope all of you out there had a wonderful Christmas and I also hope you all brought in the new year with lots of festivities!

More to come shortly.