Start your engines

Ok, Today has been one of those real lazy sundays where you kinda just end up sitting in front of the tube or laying around reading of sleeping. I hate these days because I'd frankly rather be doing something then doing nothing but in ebracing the lazy sunday today I realized that Im at my breaking point.. and that I need to take some sort of action even if it leads me a step back rather then a step forward. I cant stand my life right now and for a little while I've just accepted it because I honestly lost alot of self-confiddence when I got laid off. I tried not to let it get to me but I felt so rejected by society, then not being able to find another job became so much harder, all it did was prove to me that my worst thoughts were true. But honestly... I'm tired of accepting that I'm not worth a good job that I enjoy and a life that has meaing and purpose. I do deserve all the things that I want and I mean to get them. I am not sure what made a difference today, I spend most of my time analyzing my life , but whatever pushed me to the point of no return I am thankfull for. I will not rest untill my life has been put back together again. And I will document it for all of you.. *cheers*

Oh Snap

After an accedental revelation a couple days ago durring a phone conversation with a friend, I realized that I may have finally closed the chapter on this parasite of a relationship I've been trying to close for the longest time. Words cannot expresss the relief that I am feeling now.. and I wont lie, a little fear. I feel like a toddler taking her first steps without holding on to something.. whoa. I am excited about where the next few steps will lead me.. I'll keep you posted.

Love It

Anger Management

I have learned through my recent actions that no matter how you spell it out for some people you cant get your message to sink in. Some people are just so wrapped up in themselves that the thought that maybe one day they leave one shred of consideration toward you is unfathomable. I officially have a new attitude, and since I seriously dont like to just go on and on about bullshit that I'm not happy about I'll just leave on a happy note: FTS.. Ima be where I'm at!!

Rebellion

Well today was the straw that broke this camels back. I had a fight earlier this week with my younger brother about his constand lack of concideration for anyone in the house. And just as my anger began to subside there goes my mother to stir it up again. But unlike all the other times I've brushed things off I chose to let my actions speak for me. I needed some time, time to think, time to clear my head and reevaluate... time to myself. Away from my house and everyone in it. I've been on my own for about ten hours now and honestly I have not felt this good in a while. I dont know what the night will hold for me.. but so far I'm safe and sound.

My mother and her interesting way of speaking!!

I am sure that most of you guys have a person in your life who amuses you just by the choices they make when putting sentances together. My mother is mine.. and here are a couple of golden nuggets that she has recently thrown at us. Enjoy!

"Son of a motherless pig!!" - I dont even know what this means!

"Cagate en la mierda." - Translated this means 'Crap on the crap' ... only my mother lmao

Rainy Days

It seems like everytime there is a rainy day here (which in the summer is every afternoon, and in the winter is every afternoon) it seems that I have an increased number of 'outside activities'. Like, on beautiful sunny days I end up trapped in the house but on the days its grey and hurricane-like outside there is always some pressing appointment or chore that needs my immediate attention. Just like today.. there is this charity garage sale thingie and of course it is pouring outside. I wasnt even a part of it untill this morning when my mom called me asking me to prod around the house to see if there were any miscelaneous items that I could throw into a box and bring over to sell. I have to admit, I didnt really get up too eagerly, but once my feet touched the cold floor there was nothing for me to do but move and move fast. I did decide to do some small chores before heading out, hoping the rain would have drizzled down by then, no luck. After I eliminated all the reasons for me not to go out into the rain there was no choice but to brave the elements and carry the medium sized box to my car and head out. It wasnt as bad as I thought, I was wet, but nothing too crazy. Of course when I got to said event there was no one there because of the bad weather and it had been rescheduled for another weekend.. I briefly questioned why my mother hadn't called me to inform me of such a change in plans. But, I dragged the box upstairs and decided to make lemonade.. so I whipped up some expresso, passed it out, and utilized the time to catch up with a couple people from my mothers office. Wasnt too bad.. but hopefully the rain stops before heading out to the club tonight.. that would really suck. I'll let you guys know. *cheers*