Start your engines

Ok, Today has been one of those real lazy sundays where you kinda just end up sitting in front of the tube or laying around reading of sleeping. I hate these days because I'd frankly rather be doing something then doing nothing but in ebracing the lazy sunday today I realized that Im at my breaking point.. and that I need to take some sort of action even if it leads me a step back rather then a step forward. I cant stand my life right now and for a little while I've just accepted it because I honestly lost alot of self-confiddence when I got laid off. I tried not to let it get to me but I felt so rejected by society, then not being able to find another job became so much harder, all it did was prove to me that my worst thoughts were true. But honestly... I'm tired of accepting that I'm not worth a good job that I enjoy and a life that has meaing and purpose. I do deserve all the things that I want and I mean to get them. I am not sure what made a difference today, I spend most of my time analyzing my life , but whatever pushed me to the point of no return I am thankfull for. I will not rest untill my life has been put back together again. And I will document it for all of you.. *cheers*