St. Patricks 180

As I reminisce on the blurred memories that were St. Patricks Day of 2009 I note an obvious difference in comparison to this years comemoration. I was amoungst a group of friends, old and new, looking for party after party. Even having a small detour as we triangulated the nearest liquor store...an unexpected shortage that was soon restored. I remember laughing and dancing with my then 'just friend' Mike all night long and I remember pouring myself into bed in the wee hours of the morning. I remember my alarm clock blaring beside me a short while after I had arrived and I certainly remember that even though I hadn't slept more then just a couple of hours I spent all day texting my friends about what a fun night it was.

365 days later I found myself in the confectionary isle at Publix with my now live-in boyfriend Mike waiting as he Googled 'Easy cake from scratch recipe'. I remember measuring the dry ingredients while he mixed the wet ones. I remember our attempt at making powdered sugar by pulvarizing granulated sugar in the Magic Bullet, And I remember eating our yummy creation as we watched a rented movie in bed together. It wasnt nearly as chaotic as last year's celebration but going back I wouldnt change one single thing about it. I had everything I needed right beside me the whole night long, what more could I ask for?? *cheers*

Moving on up!!

Moving has been a tedious and tiring experience. It has also been a wonderful adventure that I can't believe I'm finally experiencing. I am so profoundly thankful for all the support I've recieved in overwhelming abundance from my family . I couldnt have imagined this being easier in terms of approval from the people close to me. I expected obsticles and arguments and instead got love and understanding... I am so thankful. I have to admit that a big part of why this has been so easy is my boyfriend, he's been so amazing from the very begining. Our apartment is coming along.. it now looks like a space where people live instead of a big room with piles of boxes in the corner. lol Baby steps. It seems like every day of the week someone calls us over to visit because they have gifts for us. It's so heartwarming to know that there are people who want us to be ok, who are concerned that we dont have enough towels or sheet sets, or spoons.

Thank you everyone!

Whore-o-ween

I guess I can say that I'm a pretty big fan of Halloween. My siblings and I were spoiled though because my grandmother is a seamstress so all of our costumes were special made and more realistic. We got to choose whatever we wanted, and we did, so it definately made every year memorable. As I recal past Halloweens I notice a deterioration of what I thought the holiday was about though, I remember it being a day where you got to dress up in a silly or scary costume and then go out and collect candy from your neighbors.
I suppose what got me thinking about this was a conversation I heard on the radio on my way home from work the other day.. It was a concerned and frustrated mother who was trying to buy a costume for her eleven year old daughter. But, couldnt find anything appropriate for a child do wear. Even the disney costumes were too provocative. I suppose my immediate question would be: When did Halloween turn into 'National Slut Day'?
It wasnt that way for me.. even in High School when the other girls opted for sexy cop outfits I preferred to be something interesting instead.
I guess it makes sence for costumes to emulate what society views as 'sexy' now. With all the half naked people all over every ad campaign i suppose it was only a matter of time before our easily influenced youth would try to immitate what was being thrown in their faces all day. (For the record... I dont think half naked equals sexy.. it takes a lot more)
I started thinking about the consequences of all these young girls dressing this way, even for the one night (even though, I firmly believe that if you're going to use Halloween as an excuse to dress like a common whore then you should just let it out the whole 365 days of the year and stop pretending you're 'modest') I mean these girls can get themselves into a heap of trouble if they're not careful. With all of the murderers, rapists, perverts, molesters out on the streets I would imagine that Halloween is like a free for all. Think about it... young girls dressed in barely anything, drinks flowing, and the added ability to wear a desguise? How easy would it be for one of these perverts to dress up (covering their faces of course) and slip something into playboy bunny number 15 and then walk off with her while everyone is enjoying the party. Too easy.
I hope nothing like that happens, of course, but its an added danger if you ask me.

I hope everyone has a safe, and exciting Halloween 09. *cheers*

Click Click Click

About five minutes ago I was sitting on my bed wrapping a band-aid around my big toe, I had a HUGE blister from these amazing peep toe heels I was wearing the other night. I went to the beach with a few friends and remembered when I put the shoes on knowing that I would be in pain the next morning but recall thinking it'd be worth it. As I got ready for work the next day I remembered putting a band-aid around the fresh blister on my big toe before putting a sock and my work sneakers on.
I was in slight discomfort Monday morning.. but these gorgeous heels were the cherry on the sundae that was a perfect outfit. Was it worth having a gross blister on my toe for a couple of days? Yes.

As I put my shoes on today (cute, but not nearly as torturous) I thought about things that are worth going through pain for. Hot shoes, waxing, pulling one of those annoying little skins that poke out from the side of your nail sometimes. All perfet examples of things that you do with the knowledge of the pain or discomfort that goes into doing them. But, also aware of the relief and/or enjoyment brought immediately thereafter.

Then I started thinking about things that you can't imagine being painful that inevitably are.. like, making your car payments, losing someone, or taking a shot or something allot stronger then you thought it was.

There are some things in life that you can't control, and they're going to hurt, but.. like my beautiful shoes.. the real thing I should focus on is the great night out I had while wearing them, not the tiny wound I had to mend for the next couple days. All wounds heal.. then it's time to slip on another pair or stilettos!!

Flickers of Light

As I sit here in 96 degree weather wishing I had chosen to wear something a little lighter I can't help but smile a little when I think about certain family members. And even as I catch my breath between customers I can't shake this feeling like somehow I had let myself overlook something so important. Amidst the confusion and chaos that is my normal life I had a moment of clarity today.. don't worry it's really not as dramatic as I'm making it out to be. See.. sometimes people can step up, even though you have no real reason to believe that they will or can. I, myself, have lost allot of faith in people throughout the years and you know what? I had yet to be proven wrong. Not that I have just yet...but every now and then there is a flicker of the person some people could be if they just let go of all the baggage they're always carrying around.

I guess its just nice to know that when shit goes down there are people close by who wouldnt let one instant pass before reaching out.

Under Achieving

This weekend was an eye opener. I mean, not that I take anything for granted, but I became overly thankful for my life. I participated in some charity work and saw first hand how difficult some people have it everyday and how optimistic they are in spite of it. I guess I felt satisfied because I finally got around to doing something that I'd been wanting to do for a while now.
I realize that this isnt the first post about how 'greatful I am for the things I have' but something about seeing other people worse off then you are but who are seemingly more content really makes me feel kinda shitty for wallowing in the bad stuff for so long. I was truly inspired by my experience and decided that I will use what I learned as a catalyst. I've already taken baby steps toward improving myself... and there will undoubtedly be larger strides in my near future. I'll keep you posted. *cheers*

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find Out What It Means To Me

Ok, so I was thinking about how many times my parents have asked me to 'respect them' in my life and what I always thought when they uttered this: " I do". Then I started thinking about how many times I've seen kids straight out insulting their parents in public and always thought 'man, if that were my kid I'd smack the crap out of them'. This is, of course, a child that I'm refering to.

So, I dug a little deeper. I began thinking about the way that children have changed in more recent times in comparison to previous generations. My parents both have told me about 'the look' that would make them basically wet themselves when they were younger, presumably the same look that indicated to them that there was a beating in their near future. I, along with my two siblings, was rarely ever hit for misbehaving.. we were punished, frequently.

I have been known to get myself in trouble a few times because of my mouth, I've always 'talked back' and had this uncanny ability to press my parents buttons with one word. Call it what you will... I say its brilliance! Anyway.. on the rare occasion that I would be pushed to act immaturely in public or when I stood up and straight out refused to do something (always with reason, mind you, I was generally a good kid) I remember hearing the phrase 'You have to respect me'. And it always boggled me.. why did they choose that time to say it?? Because I'm not doing something they are perfectly capable of doing but want me to do?? What gives???

So.. here it is, my dissection of the word respect. I think that 'the look' that my parents referred to when they were younger was not respect.. it was fear, fear of getting their asses beaten. I've heard allot of stories (mainly from my father) and the things that he did are not things that someone who 'respects' would do. Of course, it's all written off as young mischievous acts, and I don't really care either way, but respect? Not in my opinion. Then I started thinking about the times that I choose to say things to burn my parents at times, and although I can't say I'm proud of it, I think I figured out why it happened. It's because respect is a two way street, in order to be respected by someone.. you have to show them some respect. I also don't feel like you show your respect by 'not answering back' or 'ignoring someone'... you show it my attempting to make them proud of you and being there when things get rough. After all... when there is true respect between people you should be able to say anything to them. Also, respect is earned, not forced upon people because of circumstance. So.. reguadlress of the relationship I feel like you need to make an effort. *cheers*