As I sit here in 96 degree weather wishing I had chosen to wear something a little lighter I can't help but smile a little when I think about certain family members. And even as I catch my breath between customers I can't shake this feeling like somehow I had let myself overlook something so important. Amidst the confusion and chaos that is my normal life I had a moment of clarity today.. don't worry it's really not as dramatic as I'm making it out to be. See.. sometimes people can step up, even though you have no real reason to believe that they will or can. I, myself, have lost allot of faith in people throughout the years and you know what? I had yet to be proven wrong. Not that I have just yet...but every now and then there is a flicker of the person some people could be if they just let go of all the baggage they're always carrying around.
I guess its just nice to know that when shit goes down there are people close by who wouldnt let one instant pass before reaching out.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Under Achieving
This weekend was an eye opener. I mean, not that I take anything for granted, but I became overly thankful for my life. I participated in some charity work and saw first hand how difficult some people have it everyday and how optimistic they are in spite of it. I guess I felt satisfied because I finally got around to doing something that I'd been wanting to do for a while now.
I realize that this isnt the first post about how 'greatful I am for the things I have' but something about seeing other people worse off then you are but who are seemingly more content really makes me feel kinda shitty for wallowing in the bad stuff for so long. I was truly inspired by my experience and decided that I will use what I learned as a catalyst. I've already taken baby steps toward improving myself... and there will undoubtedly be larger strides in my near future. I'll keep you posted. *cheers*
I realize that this isnt the first post about how 'greatful I am for the things I have' but something about seeing other people worse off then you are but who are seemingly more content really makes me feel kinda shitty for wallowing in the bad stuff for so long. I was truly inspired by my experience and decided that I will use what I learned as a catalyst. I've already taken baby steps toward improving myself... and there will undoubtedly be larger strides in my near future. I'll keep you posted. *cheers*
Friday, February 27, 2009
R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find Out What It Means To Me
Ok, so I was thinking about how many times my parents have asked me to 'respect them' in my life and what I always thought when they uttered this: " I do". Then I started thinking about how many times I've seen kids straight out insulting their parents in public and always thought 'man, if that were my kid I'd smack the crap out of them'. This is, of course, a child that I'm refering to.
So, I dug a little deeper. I began thinking about the way that children have changed in more recent times in comparison to previous generations. My parents both have told me about 'the look' that would make them basically wet themselves when they were younger, presumably the same look that indicated to them that there was a beating in their near future. I, along with my two siblings, was rarely ever hit for misbehaving.. we were punished, frequently.
I have been known to get myself in trouble a few times because of my mouth, I've always 'talked back' and had this uncanny ability to press my parents buttons with one word. Call it what you will... I say its brilliance! Anyway.. on the rare occasion that I would be pushed to act immaturely in public or when I stood up and straight out refused to do something (always with reason, mind you, I was generally a good kid) I remember hearing the phrase 'You have to respect me'. And it always boggled me.. why did they choose that time to say it?? Because I'm not doing something they are perfectly capable of doing but want me to do?? What gives???
So.. here it is, my dissection of the word respect. I think that 'the look' that my parents referred to when they were younger was not respect.. it was fear, fear of getting their asses beaten. I've heard allot of stories (mainly from my father) and the things that he did are not things that someone who 'respects' would do. Of course, it's all written off as young mischievous acts, and I don't really care either way, but respect? Not in my opinion. Then I started thinking about the times that I choose to say things to burn my parents at times, and although I can't say I'm proud of it, I think I figured out why it happened. It's because respect is a two way street, in order to be respected by someone.. you have to show them some respect. I also don't feel like you show your respect by 'not answering back' or 'ignoring someone'... you show it my attempting to make them proud of you and being there when things get rough. After all... when there is true respect between people you should be able to say anything to them. Also, respect is earned, not forced upon people because of circumstance. So.. reguadlress of the relationship I feel like you need to make an effort. *cheers*
So, I dug a little deeper. I began thinking about the way that children have changed in more recent times in comparison to previous generations. My parents both have told me about 'the look' that would make them basically wet themselves when they were younger, presumably the same look that indicated to them that there was a beating in their near future. I, along with my two siblings, was rarely ever hit for misbehaving.. we were punished, frequently.
I have been known to get myself in trouble a few times because of my mouth, I've always 'talked back' and had this uncanny ability to press my parents buttons with one word. Call it what you will... I say its brilliance! Anyway.. on the rare occasion that I would be pushed to act immaturely in public or when I stood up and straight out refused to do something (always with reason, mind you, I was generally a good kid) I remember hearing the phrase 'You have to respect me'. And it always boggled me.. why did they choose that time to say it?? Because I'm not doing something they are perfectly capable of doing but want me to do?? What gives???
So.. here it is, my dissection of the word respect. I think that 'the look' that my parents referred to when they were younger was not respect.. it was fear, fear of getting their asses beaten. I've heard allot of stories (mainly from my father) and the things that he did are not things that someone who 'respects' would do. Of course, it's all written off as young mischievous acts, and I don't really care either way, but respect? Not in my opinion. Then I started thinking about the times that I choose to say things to burn my parents at times, and although I can't say I'm proud of it, I think I figured out why it happened. It's because respect is a two way street, in order to be respected by someone.. you have to show them some respect. I also don't feel like you show your respect by 'not answering back' or 'ignoring someone'... you show it my attempting to make them proud of you and being there when things get rough. After all... when there is true respect between people you should be able to say anything to them. Also, respect is earned, not forced upon people because of circumstance. So.. reguadlress of the relationship I feel like you need to make an effort. *cheers*
Sunday, February 22, 2009
We're Metal
Every so often something happens to me that makes me question the general sanity of everyone in the world. It doesn't have to be anything major, truth be told its more often then not something that I probably notice on my own. Since my attention is grabbed by the strangest things sometimes. This weekend I was a participant in a conversation that at best I can only describe as the feeling of a giant spoon being inserted into my head that stirs my brain around untill my ability to process something as fact is disabled. This is the conversation, word for word, and you'll see why I am so dumbfounded...
Dude: Hey, whats your name?
Me: V, whats yours?
Dude: We're Metal.
Me: What the hell does that mean? Is your name metal?
Dude: No.
Me: Are you in a band?
Dude: Yea.
Me: Is your band named 'Metal'?
Dude: No.
Me: Do you guys play metal?
Dude: No.
After further analyzing the next morning I can only assume that this character has split personalities and that these sub-personalities are in a metal rock band. He did, after all, address himself as 'we're' not 'I'm' .. which means that he must think of himself as more then one entity. And to clear any questions up before they start, he was completely alone when he was speaking to me, no one was around him giving him a reason to use the term 'we're'. I don't know whats up with this guy.. but he seems like he is a few cards short of a full deck. Either way, when I think about his response it always raises a heavy chuckle out of me. So, despite any confusion on my part, he did create a happy memory for me.. even though the humor is at his expense. You can't win them all. *cheers*
Dude: Hey, whats your name?
Me: V, whats yours?
Dude: We're Metal.
Me: What the hell does that mean? Is your name metal?
Dude: No.
Me: Are you in a band?
Dude: Yea.
Me: Is your band named 'Metal'?
Dude: No.
Me: Do you guys play metal?
Dude: No.
After further analyzing the next morning I can only assume that this character has split personalities and that these sub-personalities are in a metal rock band. He did, after all, address himself as 'we're' not 'I'm' .. which means that he must think of himself as more then one entity. And to clear any questions up before they start, he was completely alone when he was speaking to me, no one was around him giving him a reason to use the term 'we're'. I don't know whats up with this guy.. but he seems like he is a few cards short of a full deck. Either way, when I think about his response it always raises a heavy chuckle out of me. So, despite any confusion on my part, he did create a happy memory for me.. even though the humor is at his expense. You can't win them all. *cheers*
Monday, February 16, 2009
The Ghost Of Vaneltine's Day Past
This weekend was certainly busy, it seems like we had people over all weekend.. oh wait, we did.
It began with a party on Friday night, a celebration for the reuniting of a great band that we all were fans of. It was great. A really old friend joined us, Jake, who I hadn't seen in years. Catching up was really nice, our lives are actually really similar at the moment. A good number of people showed up, not too many, and not too few, just enough heads to keep everyone entertained but not enough to leave my house looking like a tornado passed through it when everyone was gone. I also met two friends of my sisters.. well, met is a strong word, I had met them before but we hadn't really ever spoken till this night. They were both pretty down to earth people who were generally a pleasure to converse with. All in all friday's festivities were so good that we decided that all the singles should come back on Saturday (the 14th) so we can do like a little Valentine's Day Getty.
This is where I should have listened to my inner gut.. from the time I got up I questioned whether trying to have two great nights would be too much of a feat. I seriously thought it would be like tossing dice into the air and expecting it to land on the same number twice.. impossible. But, I carried on as planned, and the time rolled around for people to arrive. Arrive they did.. it started out well enough... a chill evening of card playing, music, drinks.. nothing too crazy. Then it happened... dumb drama that turned the whole night sour, and fast. At first, everyone that wasn't involved (including myself) tried to calm the situation but it was like a snowball that kept getting bigger and more annoying as the situation progressed. Eventually destroying all hopes of the evening returning to its former pleasent self.
So everyone left, and I was left cleaning up all kinds of messes.. from beer bottles, to peoples feelings.
I would love to say that it was a learning experience for me, but that would be a lie. It was actually really predictable.. as a matter of fact, I called it the night before. It's all water under the bridge now, and I've made contact with the people who may have felt uncomfortable to smooth things over, so I feel fine with everything. But if I have to offer one piece of advice it is this... send countless shots over to someone when they are causing drama in a party... at best, they will just pass out and everyone can carry on, and at worst they will get so hammered that they will forget what it is they were getting crazy about in the first place. *Cheers*
It began with a party on Friday night, a celebration for the reuniting of a great band that we all were fans of. It was great. A really old friend joined us, Jake, who I hadn't seen in years. Catching up was really nice, our lives are actually really similar at the moment. A good number of people showed up, not too many, and not too few, just enough heads to keep everyone entertained but not enough to leave my house looking like a tornado passed through it when everyone was gone. I also met two friends of my sisters.. well, met is a strong word, I had met them before but we hadn't really ever spoken till this night. They were both pretty down to earth people who were generally a pleasure to converse with. All in all friday's festivities were so good that we decided that all the singles should come back on Saturday (the 14th) so we can do like a little Valentine's Day Getty.
This is where I should have listened to my inner gut.. from the time I got up I questioned whether trying to have two great nights would be too much of a feat. I seriously thought it would be like tossing dice into the air and expecting it to land on the same number twice.. impossible. But, I carried on as planned, and the time rolled around for people to arrive. Arrive they did.. it started out well enough... a chill evening of card playing, music, drinks.. nothing too crazy. Then it happened... dumb drama that turned the whole night sour, and fast. At first, everyone that wasn't involved (including myself) tried to calm the situation but it was like a snowball that kept getting bigger and more annoying as the situation progressed. Eventually destroying all hopes of the evening returning to its former pleasent self.
So everyone left, and I was left cleaning up all kinds of messes.. from beer bottles, to peoples feelings.
I would love to say that it was a learning experience for me, but that would be a lie. It was actually really predictable.. as a matter of fact, I called it the night before. It's all water under the bridge now, and I've made contact with the people who may have felt uncomfortable to smooth things over, so I feel fine with everything. But if I have to offer one piece of advice it is this... send countless shots over to someone when they are causing drama in a party... at best, they will just pass out and everyone can carry on, and at worst they will get so hammered that they will forget what it is they were getting crazy about in the first place. *Cheers*
Friday, February 13, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
The Day Of Love
It's February 12th.. the day before the day before the dreaded day of love. Let me be clear... I do not hate Valentines Day, I just hate the impact it has on everyone, single and attatched alike. For the past week I've been talking my friends of ledges and these are successful, smart, intelligent people. The kind of people who stand up in the word and make differences and shit.. and yet somehow this stupid day makes them question every desicion they've made in the last 365 days.
It's not that phone calls asking me if 'I should have called him one more time' aren't always nice to recieve but.. this coming from someone who is so strong, sure of themselves, and otherwise perfectly in contol of everything else is a little disconcerting. It seems that even those who have their lives in order somehow feel a litle sensitive around this time of year. My theory is that its all about timing... Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years have only really passed about two months ago. And we all know the added pressure to 'have a date' on those wonderfully miserable holidays. Where every relative we have (who we mysteriously never see untill the end of every year) asks us where our boyfriends are or when we are thinking of settling down. Thereby forcing us to think that maybe we aren't as complete as we had thought we were.. right? Well.. I feel that after New Years Eve is over (lets not forget about the New Years Kiss) we only get two months to recoperate before we are forced once again to be in a position to explain our 'single-ness'. Not enough mental rehabilitation time if you ask me. But c'est la vive. We'll do it all over again next year. The best advice that I can offer anyone interested in recieving it is: Valentine's Day is only as important as you make it out to be. Don't fret... after all, you'll have all of the 2009 Holidays to feel miserable. *Cheers*
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