Station Wagons Are Sexy

I don't know what it is about these fine pieces of machinery (maybe the idea of what all that extra space can facilitate) but I've always been a fan of the station wagon. Not the new kind, with all the rounded corners, no sir.. it has to be the straight up old version. Just look at it... so sexy. *cheers*

Momma's Boy

Ever since I can remember, I've been completely and utterly turned off by anyone who was dependant on other people for simple, common sense things, that anyone with a single brain cell can do. More specifically its always been a real turn-off to see a man who's been raised with their mommy doing every little thing for them and doesn't even know how to do something as simple as turn on a burner on a stove. I once actually had a friend who didn't know where the kitchen garbage bin was because after eating his meals (prepared for by mommy) he wouldn't even have the common courtesy of picking up his plate and putting it into the sink.

This morning, I went from being in a great mood to getting all pissy in about two minutes. Today, unlike yesterday when I was hung over like you wouldn't believe, I woke up and was ready to grab the day by the balls..as I made my bed I was planning all the things I was going to do: Wrap some Christmas gifts that I'd bought, clean up the kitchen floor, etc. When I got to the kitchen my brother was already awake and watching television with my dad, my mom was at her computer downloading the millionth song this weekend on LimeWire. And I decided to brew up some much desired espresso for myself..

As I was making the froth, I overheard my mother talking about how my brother's (21) uniform is in the dryer. (Grrrrrrrrrr!) I realize that this doesn't really affect my life in any immediate way but I hate that my brother has become one of those guys that I make fun of all the time and can't possibly respect. I would question why he doesn't want to take things upon himself but.. he has it so easy why would he complain. Anyway, the only thing that makes me feel less angry about this is that he had to go in to work today while everyone is here at home.. hehe. *cheers*

Three Six Five

Being laid off for a year isn't the picnic that anyone would imagine. While there are people in my life who wouldnt mind the monotony, I can't seem to enjoy it. It was late November of last year when it happened.. I remember, like I'm sure many do, feeling that it was the wrong choice for the company. I felt like the kid who doesn't get picked to play when the other kids are choosing teams. To this day I feel that it was a choice based on everything except productivity.. but I won't get into it, thats another blog.

Anyway, at first I was sad.. like I was cast aside for not violating my ethics. But, I chose to take the begining of it like it was a vacation.. I had, after all, been working for almost ten years (with only one vacation). So yes, in the begining I enjoyed being able to do things that I was never able to do because I was working. But, even that gets old when you have no one to share your free time with.

Then the search began, for a new job, application after application.. interview after interview.. I have never been told 'NO' so many times in one year. It never feels better by the way.

Thats when you start beating yourself up. How can it be that you, of all the people in your circle, can't seem to get your hands on a job? What are you doing that makes it so difficult?? More importantly.. why are you so undesirable to society? It doesnt help that everyone around you is always asking you when you're going to get a job. (Ugh... when someone hires me maybe?) It's true.. I went through a mild depression as Im sure everyone who is in this position goes through. I just felt like I couldn't catch a break ( I still do, but I've accepted it) when everyone else does. (My friend obliviously torchuring me by quitting not one.. but two jobs.. though she did have a family hook-up with her current place of employment)

After months of beating myself up a wave of peace washed over me. I know it sounds stupid but after being broke, bored, and unhappy for so long you just start to see the whole world differently. I began cherishing to deeply the smallest gestures.. like, if I happened to see a brother hold his little sisters hand so she wont get lost I would literally tear up. I began to appreciate the things that no amount of money in the world could purchase. I also began to notice how materialistic everyone around me really was.. everything changes when you realize you dont need things as much as you think you do.

Anyway, as of now I have accepted my life. Luckilly I'm not starving, I'm not unhealthy, and I am surviving. I'll get a job soon enough but I'm glad that I had this happen to me.. It made me realize that constantly trying to prove yourself to society and to others is a complete waste of time.. the only person you have to be happy with is yourself. *Cheers*

Just As You Are

I was never really a fan of the Bridget Jones movies.Truthfully, the only parts that I found entertaining were the fight scenes. I watched them both though, not in theatres but I did see them at home.. I love Colin Firth. Anyway.. in the wee hours of last night/this morning I watched the first movie and suddenly I understood her. The first time I watched the movie I didnt really get her.. I just thought she was some strange middle aged woman who couldnt dress and always embarassed herself. But, last night I really got it... and more then that I understood what Marc Darcy (C.F.) represented.. he was the guy every girl dreams of having but overlooks because he is so safe. This scene in particular moved me because its every persons fantasy that they can find someone who doesnt want to change one single thing about them. "Just as you are" *cheers*

Just Shoot Me Next Time

There are not enough drugs out there to make last night's memory subside into a mild 'vise-squeezing-my-brain'like feeling. I kid you not.. My poor friend and I had to stand outside in 60 degree weather, six inch heeels to boot, and listen to a blabbering inadequate ramble on and on about his life with the sole intention of getting inumerable pity faces.

The night started out on an odd note, it should have tipped me off that it woudlnt end well, but I took it in stride and hoped for the best. It was a cousins birthday yesterday (The big 21) So needless to say there would be drinking involved. It began at approximately 7:30 p.m. where we gathered at my grandmothers house and did the whole cutting of the cake and singing ordeal. Accompanied, of course, by the obligatory hundred or so pictures of the birthday boy standing behind the cake with various family and friends. After that we went to a 'surprise party' that my cousins friends had organized for him. But, he had already drank about 5 shots of Vodka (within a five minute time span) and was obliterated before he even got there. Still, to at least try and make an appearance we held on to him and guided him into the party where he walked in, layed down on the couch, and passed out. He spent the rest of the hour or so we were at the party throwing up all over the bathroom floor and laying down in various rooms. Classy.

Moving on the to the second and final part of this mediocre evening. We were tired of making chit chat with my cousins little friends (seriously, everyone there was about 16 years old) so we decided to move the party (or at least ourselves) to my friends house. At first everything was fine.. we were sitting around playing this card game and listening to some tunes.. talking. Everything seemed to be going well, until one of the dudes at the getty went outside for a smoke. Shortly after my sister joined him followed by another friend of mine. I stayed in there with my friend talking for a while and waiting for the others to return but when they took an oddly long time we decided to go out and join them. Within minutes a debate emerged.. the dude was defending his smoking habbit (without even a hint of a reason) to my friend and I (the only non-smokers there). I sat this one out and my friend tried to dissolve the conversation.. without success. Thats when, without reason, this lunatic decided to throw an all out, call the press and invite them, pity party... number in the party? One. Somehow my sister and the other friend slipped out of the conversation just in time and headed back into the house.. but as for my friend and I, we were stuck.

I can say that after three grueling miserable hours listening to this inapt miscreant I would rather go get a deep cleaning at the dentist. (And anyone who's had a deep cleaning knows that its no picnic) Needless to say that I will certainly not be willingly involving him in any outings, innings, meduim-ings that I have in my near and maybe even not so near future. The only thing that I am thankfil for is that the conversation (or lecture) is finaly over. Thank god almighty that it is over. *cheers*

Such a PAIN

So this morning while I enjoyed my daily, and very deserved, cafe con leche I started doing my usual technological activities: Checking my e-mail, reading the news, etc. before getting to my chores. There was one headline about dating which I instinctively skipped over but then came back to again cause there wasn't really anything on the headlines that appealed to me; There was a statement I had heard probably a million times 'Love Hurts'. So a little later, half of a cafe con leche in hand, I thought back on those words and started dissecting them a little. Maybe I, on this beautiful morning, I could once and for all crack the code!!! So I began brainstorming, and after several minutes of intense thought I came up with my answer..Love dosen't hurt, love is awesome. Yes, I know what you're thinking, 'V, you're an idiot.', But let me finish my thought here I swear it will make sense by the time I'm done. (Side note.. my damn dog won't stop barking in my face..I'm going to lose it) Anyway, back to the subject at hand, it is my opinion that 'love' doesn't hurt, its what we do with it or to it that hurts us. I'll give you an example: I once had love, and it was beautiful but I let the opinions of others become more important to me then my own so I made it go away. And right at that moment and for many years after that I felt pain.. but I would never go as far to say that 'Love Hurts' because when the love was with me it was great. It was only when it was taken away that it hurt. So no, I don't believe that love hurts.. its whatever negative situation you associate with it that hurts. See I told you that if you let me finish I'd make sense eventually. *cheers*

Already?

Well we're in November already, its hard to believe that this year has passed so quickly. The holidays will soon be upon us and truthdully I'm not ready for them. Not that I dont love the holidays but something about them always leaves me drained. Maybe its the obligatory time spent with family members you'd otherwise never see.. or the overspending of money but I can't say that I am looking forward to the holiday season this year. Hopefully something changes my mind and I get into the spirit of things soon but if it doesnt thats ok. I am looking forward to seeing some friends who live far away.. both of which will be visiting next month, though I think at different times. So, there is something. This isnt the most interesting blog I know, but we have a new president and I'm bored to death of talking about politics so I'm trying to veer away from that subject even though it seems like every conversation I have lately ends in some sort of political debate. So I'll cut things off now.. *Cheers*